Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Part two: SOLITUDE…

I have been fretting about the empty nest. I have been afraid that what Jim and I had before Mike won’t return and that I’ll be left standing alone to do the things that make me happy. I’m wrong. So very wrong. The love is still there, the passion is still there and yes we’ve both grown into completely different people we are still the same in many ways too. The biggest fact, we love each other for now, for always, no matter what.

SOLITUDE:

You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub. – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Solitude is such a blessing! Everyone needs time alone. Often we are fearful of time alone, because there is no one for us to encounter but ourselves. How comforting it is to go to ourselves! How much like returning home to an old friend or lover after having been away too long visiting places that felt foreign and unfamiliar.

Our solitude is one of the pleasures that only we can arrange. It is up to us to see that we regenerate through our time with ourselves. We have the right, and we have the power. If we do not model respect for our own need for solitude, our children will never learn that they deserve their time alone.

LET ME REMEMBER that there is nothing more soothing than sound of running water, even if it is only in my bathtub.

Take care my friends, find a quiet corner and just relax and collect yourself and enjoy. God bless you all!!

7 comments:

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

Oh, I can't even imagine life without the kids around! My baby is 9 so it will be awhile before I have to think about that!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Funny how I would crave my solitude when I was a young mother with active and loud kids running around and how now, with my husband out of state and my kids at school, I crave time with a loved one. Yet, it is when we are by ourselves and in a quiet, reflective mood, that we can "come to ourselves" and/or feel the gentle guiding of our life through the Holy Ghost (I feel, at least).

Ironically, It seems that loneliness is one of the most common sorrows out there. SO many people suffer from it and how much we could relieve it by reaching out...

Whoops... sorry for the rambling.
Have a wonderful day, dear Julie!! :)

~Margene

The Ninja said...

Not too long ago my husband took my daughters to a family thing and I had to work so I got home a good two hours before they did. It was like vacation, I had never been in my home without my children before.

I tend to take my solitude away from home. I go and wander around big stores, like Garden Ridge. I never buy anything but just being able to wander around without anyone else is lovely.

Cheeseboy said...

This was such a thoughtful and introspective post. I love my solitude. It is so rare for me. Honestly, I am lucky to get two hours alone a month.

Michele said...

Hi Julie,
I am catching up on a few posts that you wrote in the last few days. First of all, congratulations on your new low!! Fifty-five pounds off is quite a lot. To put this in a tangible way, you have shed the same amount of weight as my granddaughter Nani weighs (her picture is on my current blog post). To me that is remarkable and incredible. Bravo!

I am signed up to do the Tour de Cure on the same day that you are doing a 5KM (and the day before my BD!). I chose the 31-mile road course, which is so far 11 miles more than I have ever done. I am training every day. I love the fact that you are doing both a walking and a jogging 5 km. I had planned to start the C25KM, but because my weight loss has plateaued I am going to weight (wait!!) until after I am down in the 170’s. My knees are not as strong as they used to be, so the less I weigh in the better.

I agree with you whole-heartedly about living in the moment. Being present is something I work on daily. Like you, I have been blessed with a wonderful life and family. I think being present does come with age though, too.

The empty nest: I have been in this place now for about 8 years. I love it. There is no one that I want to spend my time with beside my husband and partner. We have found a number of activities and tasks that we enjoy doing together that were impractical or impossible when we were raising our kids. For example: seeing movies whenever we can, going to sporting events or concerts, reading the same book and talking about it later, gardening and even cooking. Plus he often accompanies me on my walks and bike rides. But given all that, I too, like some solitude. I crave it actually, just a little each day. Gives me time to process what I am doing and so on. I think being an empty nester is honestly one of the best secrets of a long married life.

Wow, these last posts were full of ruminations. Loved them all. Take care my friend, Michele




Hi Julie,
I am catching up on a few posts that you wrote in the last few days. First of all, congratulations on your new low. Fifty-five pounds off is quite a lot. To put this in a tangible way, you have shed the same amount of weight as my granddaughter Nani weighs (her picture is my current blog post). To me that is remarkable and incredible. Bravo!

I am signed up to do the Tour de Cure on the same day that you are doing a 5KM (and the day before my BD!). I chose the 31-mile road course, which is so far 11 miles more than I have ever done. I am training every day. I love the fact that you are doing both a walking and a jogging 5 km. I had planned to start the C25KM, but because my weight loss has plateau I am going to weight (wait!!) until after I am down in the 170’s. My knees are not as strong as they used to be, so the less I weigh in the better.

I agree with you whole-heartedly about living in the moment. Being present is something I work on daily. Easy now with sabbatical, or easier. Like you, I have been blessed with a wonderful life and family. I think being present does come with age though, too.

The empty nest: I have been in this place now for about 8 years. I love it. There is no one that I want to spend my time with beside my husband and partner. We have found a number of activities and tasks that we enjoy doing together that were impractical or impossible when we were raising our kids. For example: seeing movies whenever we can, going to sporting events or concerts, reading the same book and talking about it later, gardening and even cooking. Plus he often accompanies me on my walks and bike rides. But given all that, I too, like a some solitude. I crave it actually, just a little each day. Gives me time to process what I am doing and so on. I think being an empty nester is honestly one of the best secrets of a long married life.

Wow, these last posts were full of ruminations. Loved them all. Take care my friend, Michele

EmptyNester said...

Solitude can be soothing it's true...unless my mind goes places with thoughts that make me angry...Yes, it's true. I can even sabotage my peaceful solitude.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Julie, You are worrying too much.. As my girls left, things seemed to return to when we didn't have kids, even tho I still had my son at home, it was almost as if it were just the 2 of us.. We were getting use to the almost 'empty nest' till my hubby was unexpectedly taken from us...