Friday, April 8, 2011

My rant…

Well I’m over it and have learned quite a bit from it. Really I honestly thought I was in the right and everyone was against me. Well not against me really, just not in my corner. Well I’m big enough to say I was wrong in more ways then one and after my day off yesterday and a chance to really think about it, talk to my best friend about it and reflect, well I’m a putz. Not a tiny putz either but one that is learning so I’m not a total loss.

Yep, for 14 months I have worked my butt of literally and and it has gone to my head. Not in the bad way such as I’m better then anyone…really the opposite, I’m not as good as anyone. Look at so and so, they have lost blah, blah, blah…..look at so and so, in less then 6 months they lost their 50 lbs, you it took 14 months. Who give a flying monkey how long it took me to lose it, I LOST IT and I need to be proud of that fact and just not worry about that last 10 lbs. Just get over it and do what I’ve been doing and it’ll happen. Kind of a duh really!!!

So now that the PMS part of my period is over and that darn thing is here my mind is back where it’s suppose to be, the body well it’ll follow in another week and then life will be back to normal, for 15 days at at least. I’m getting old (almost 49 you know) so my time rolls around every 18 days now and it messy me up a bit more then it use to but a thing about getting old, maybe it’s working on ending soon. At least in the next few years. Jim says 72 more cycles and then just maybe it’ll be done. This is according to my grandma’s cycles and I seem to mimic my grandma in many ways.

So I am going to try and talk to others not just about my exercise, diet, eating and all. I’m going to try and be normal. There is more to life then just this, though it is still my top priority right now it’s not for everyone else. So I’m going to work hard on that. Yesterday I only talked about my exercise and all, maybe 5 times instead of 50 times. There is daycare, scouts, family, gardening, chickens, lots of other things and I do bet everyone was beyond tired of hearing about it.

Okay so your stuck though, cuz this is my life style change blog. For you there’s that little X in the corner if I’m boring you to death or you’ve heard it before or just one of those days as” why is she sharing that?” I don’t mind because well, this blog is for me, for me to look at and learn. To read back and see what was happening at this time, what was I thinking, what was I feeling and boy was I stupid at times. It’s okay though, I’m human, I’m fairly normal and I’m just me.

I have to share one thing, since I was feeling that way yesterday before I finally got things sorted out, I killed the elliptical. 40 minutes, 4.4 miles from level 2 to 7. 435 calories did and done with. Just my third time on that machine for any length of time.

Okay, it’s Friday, YEAH!!!! It’s sunshiny, 46* and time to head outside for a walk. Daddy and I went yesterday early evening. I’m going to leave you with a couple pictures of what we saw. Take care my friends and God Bless!!

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gracies tough journey said...

You are not a putz. We are all human, and are not meant to be perfect. You are about my age and I tell ya, I think our PMS is getting worse. At least that is the excuse I use,hehe. Your pictures are beautiful. I love the one with your dad. I would give anything to have another picture with my dad. I miss him so much. God Bless my friend and have a wonderful weekend. Yippee for Fridays!

kim said...

I think people get jealous...I get jealous...and impressed with your dedication. It can't be easy to stay on this path for so long even when the numbers were so naughty. Ack...keep it up, if you're talking about it too much we'll tell you.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

When something is very important to me, I get obsessive about it and everyone knows that is close to me that I will be talking about it for as long as it interests me. I think we are all like that and that we shouldn't have to apologize to those who love us when we set a goal and are trying to reach it. It is hard to set a goal in the first place without having family and friends making things harder. If they don't want to hear it talk about it with those of us who do. I wish you the best and I believe those 10 pounds will be gone before you know it.

EmptyNester said...

Just wait Julie- mine started coming only every other month for a couple of years and then only twice a year for a couple of years--it's wonderful!

LOVE that picture of you and your dad! How precious!

AlmostGastricBypass said...

January - 54.11 miles, February 43.5 miles, April 50.5

Yada, yada.. Look how fit you are. No more complaining, I need you happy. I am inspired every day by your efforts !!!

Twix said...

Julie, just wanted to let you know, I think you're AWESOME!!!!

Everyday you push, shove, give it some more, breathe, live, and this all equates to YOU ROCK!

I see and hear a strong beautiful woman. Keep on rockin' it! :D

Jackie said...

Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between obsession and focus... maybe that line is different for everyone. I have told you several times that I admire your focus. Guess maybe I'm a bit obsessed too. Like you said, though,it's your life, your blog, and your goal, and God bless you for following your heart and your dream. I love the pictures - and the blog story of your journey. Have a great and blessed weekend, Julie.

Jacqui said...

Julie.. You are doing awesome! I know it seems that this is the biggest priority in your life.. and it should be. Until you get to your goal, I see it being important to keep your eye on the prize. ((HUGS))

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I love that you are YOU Julie! You can rant, this is YOUR journey. You are working things out and it helps me to read what you go through too! You strengthen me so much. You are a strong woman and a great friend. I like that you are yourself and you use this "makeover" blog to become the new you... or the best you! I think we are all trying to do that same thing!!

God bless!

arielcircleofnine said...

I know Im a bit wrapped up in my weightloss world, and its OK. Once in a while I check myself when talking with those who arent involved and maybe cant even relate--but otherwise, I know those who love you understand and only want the best for you in the long run! Dont feel badly about any misunderstandings, they happen!!

Princess Dieter said...

I think we talk about whatever it is we are most focused on. If I'm most focused on fiction, I wanna talk plot, characters, books, authors, publishers, ereaders, etc.

I don't normally start the diet talk. People see I've lost a whole lot and ASK me what I'm doing. Or it comes up if I refuse a slice of cake or a soda or whatever. I was being a bit of an "evangelist" around the holidays, only cause I was so focused on NOT gaining (and thank God lost all through it), and I felt like everyone pigging out on pies and whatnot were killing themselves. I've chilled. :)

It's like when I was born again at age 15. All I wanted to talk about was the Bible and Jesus. Or when I took up astronomy, all i wanted to talk was stars and planets. Or when I began writing, all I wanted to talk about was books.

It's what you're passionate about or focused on or your current goal that drives a passionate conversation. I think people have to expect that. My niece got her degree and became a teacher--so I talk teaching with her. LEt her ramble on about her students and try to encourage her to talk, since it's her current passion.

The people around you need to understand this matters to you right now and you need to be able to express it. :) It IS normal for people radically transforming their relationship to food and movement to TALK about it.

Me, if someone asks, of course, I'll talk. Otherwise, I tend to follow whatever the conversational thread is. Movies, family gossip, sex, food, whatever.

But I am hoping that my loss and my exercising will help the obese loved ones get on the wagon, too.

And no one but me gets to decide when to stop. I've never been uber thin, so I don't expect to ever be uber thin. I just wanna be close to normal weight. :) Even if technically still OVERweight. Just NORMALish. :D

Later, be well...

Shawn said...

Hang in there, you are on the right path.

Baby Sister said...

Nah, you're not a putz. You're just human. You talk about what is important to you, and becoming healthy is important. There's nothing wrong with that, you just gotta keep the balance. You keep goin' girl!!

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

Well, I'm a bit late in reading these but I feel for you babe, really. I know easier said than done but stress isn't going to help the weight loss. I agree with the advice to relax and it sounds like you already have.

I agree with your thoughts about not comparing to what others have done. You DID lose it and it's GONE and NEVER coming back. That totally should be rewarded. You are such an inspiration and you have done SO well. Enjoy life, enjoy the gym and you're rewards will continue to come. :-)

Michele said...

Hi, Julie,
I read through several of your last posts today. I wonder of the obsession you feel (felt) relates to that you only have 10 pounds to lose, yet, look how many year sit took to get to this point? I know for me, it is hard to accept the fact that I spend more of my adult life in the obese category than in the normal. It has not been easy to lose the weight I have (plus I still have another 40 pounds to go), but I am doing it. Why couldn’t I do this before? So, maybe you have some of those feelings to. I also think that people who do not have a weight problem or any weight issue cannot understand how obsessed we really get about it. I think we are on steroids now (figuratively speaking) because we ignored our bodies and health before. So, your obsessions are, I believe, a way to process all the trails you have been through and this new beautiful and fit shape that is unfolding daily.

I am so sorry to hear about your mamma. It isn’t easy when our mom’s get really sick, but, good that you can be there.

Thanks again, too, for your offer to help. We are starting a plan of how we are going to tackle all the clean up and removal. Once we are back, we will begin. I also have not forgot about our possible bike rides this summer. Are you still up for this? I know there are some nice rides at Bemidji state park, too, which I think is close to you. Take care, my friend, Michele

Denise G said...

Love the pictures! What is that saying to error is human to forgive is divine. So rarely do we forgive ourselves. Let it go hun and move on. Don't be hard on yourself. Look at your accomplishes! Go Girl :)

Ron said...

Great job on the elliptical, Great pictures!